Unwanted Advances

Began travelling with the jolie Quebecois boys, who offered to take me with them to Timbuktu. Traveling with Gilles and Rosaire has been completely different. Rosaire was really insistent I come along with them and initially I was grateful, as they paid a lot of money and I was horning in on things. The morning we left Pays Dogon, I suspected word has spread of my previous day’s temper tantrum, as both Moktar and Rosaire refused to let me carry not only my own bag but any bag. I felt hugely guilty, but what a relief. And what luxury to climb into an air conditioned car and head off into the city.

When we arrived at the hotel, it was obvious I was blowing my budget and yet I didn’t care. The comfy mattress and air conditioning were well worth it. I turned in early and slept soundly for 12 hours. The day was basically ours, so I headed out after lunch for the Internet café, which cost a whopping $5/hr, bought postcards and some pastries and wandered a bit. Mopti’s residents are incredibly gentle and I really didn’t experience any of the hassle or hustle I expected.

The next morning my spidey sense started tingling. We met at 8 a.m. for the pinasse tour and I headed down fat 7.40ish for breakfast. When Rosaire arrived, he took my face in his hands and gave me two rather suggestive kisses on the cheek and a somewhat husky “bonjour, madame!” I thought it was a bit strange, but sloughed it off as a random encounter with a Frenchman. But after breakfast, as I was coming down the stairs and he was going up, he grabbed me around the waist and pulled me close for a hug to announce he’d bought a ridiculous hat for $10. That really made me wonder. In the pinasse he took my photo, insisted on carrying my bags and at lunch he winked at me a half dozen times. Inwardly groaning, at the prospect of this old man flirting with me for three days. I just played innocent. I spent the afternoon sleeping and writing and then we went for a tour of the artists market and onto the “Ottawa market.” Gilles and Rosaire bought whistle lollipops to hand out and while there was near pandemonium a few times, Gilles handled it far better than I would have. None of us bought anything at the market, although I think I’ll go back when I’m in Mopti again.

On the way back to the hotel, I managed to fall further and further behind Gilles and Moktar and Rosaire walked along with me. At one point, he told me something about “the first time I saw you…” and something about my eyes and my smile, which I didn’t quite follow and didn’t respond to at all. By the time we were just outside the hotel and it was dark, he said: “L’autre shoes que je dois dire est je voudrais dormir avec vous ce soir.” I was completely taken aback, mostly at the bluntness of it. I felt a little nauseous, in fact. I told him in tortured French that I have a serious boyfriend in Ghana, who gave me my ring, and while we’re not married, I’m committed to him and so in love that I couldn’t imagine being with another man.

He brushed it off with a fine, fine, c’est fini. I have a femme en Quebec aussi. I went upstairs and stalked around for a while after dinner, where it came to light that Rosaire has two daughters, aged 29 and 31. Imagine! The whole night felt off, as Gilles was in a bit of a mood, and at one point asked if I’d ever been drunk as I always act so straight. I felt suddenly very high schoolish and I wondered if Gilles knew Rosaire had planned to proposition me and whether he knew I’d said no. At random points he was muttering “voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir” which was about he least appropriate song he could choose.

I felt rather sick about the whole things, but seriously wondered what Rosaire was thinking. I don’t think I’d responded to him with anything but politeness. I don’t think I gave him any encouragement and to just plainly state with no romance, no flirtation, no anything “I want to sleep with you tonight” felt cold, detached, impersonal and wrong. Never mind the age gap, which I later learned was 38 years! Ten minutes before propositioning me he was asking if I’d seen any key chains because that’s what his wife wanted and 10 minutes after he was buying one for her! It made me feel kinda gross. Also, there’s a weird Stepford element to it all, in the sense that I’ve been able to nod in understanding and laugh at jokes but my vocabulary is so limited I can’t contribute to conversations in any meaningful way. Needless to say, I slept pretty poorly.